Why do I have a hard time looking people in the eye?

It's something that bothers me as much as I'm sure it bugs others, but when I see a pretty girl smile and stare at me, I can't look her in the eye; when an authority figure talks to me, I look around them. I'm only able to make brief eye contact with people I hate or I'm comfortable with. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!Why do I have a hard time looking people in the eye?
Most people experience this to varying degrees; some are just better at overcoming it.





This behaviour is a primordial body language response to a situation that is not consciously initiated by the sufferer but may be consciously overcome once they are aware of it.





To make, hold and continue eye contact is a sub-conscious indicator of interest, focus, intent and engagement in the moment. To be able to readily do so indicates ease, comfort and confidence in the association of the moment.


To be unable to do so -- whilst maybe wanting to -- indicates discomfort,insecurity, a desire to break the connection of the moment and disengage in order to relocate to a more comforting zone.





Often the eye-line breaking discomfiture comes from a feeling of being unequal to the ';demands'; -- physically or emotionally -- of the moment. Mostly embarrassment or guilt (or embarrassment guilt which is a self feeding cycle) are responsible for this feeling.Like most phobias, the fear of inadequacy is generally without basis and only of importance to the sufferer -- not anyone else.





Overcoming the fear of inadequacy and extended engagement lays in two main solutions. First: be prepared as much as one foresee-ably may for the occasion. This will instill confidence with attendant comfort.


Next: assess the importance of the situation/social engagement. We often build up situations beyond their worth. If it is not immediately life threatening does it really matter? By reducing the accorded importance, we reduce tension levels, reduce the fright/fight/flight impetous that wants us ';OUTA-THERE-NOW';. With deminished expectations the situation is more readily met, experienced and even (initially minimally perhaps) enjoyed.





Don't worry of others perceptions of your affliction. Not all ';eye-lockers'; are confident, prepared or guilt free. This can be a learned behaviour.


Not all ';eye droppers'; are insecure, tense or guilty. They can simply have other priorities.





The key is to destress yourself Try it and comfort shall ensue.Why do I have a hard time looking people in the eye?
It's not that there is something wrong with you.. It's more of less social experience...Let me further this explanation, see there are different people in this world, there are the plain, the sly, the ';lifted people';, and the hateful. You seem as though you are part of the ';plain';. This means that, yes you have a social life and do have confidence but when confronted by a figure that has power your confidence feels as though it's high but your body language will not match it. This probably usually happens when you're with someone who either tries to make you look stupid a lot and have too much ego and too many lies or you are in contact with a person who you are simply not comfortable to comprehend. For example, the girl situation could be that you do not wish to splurge emotion because it could comprise confidence.








In short, you're normal but you've not experienced many social emotional confrontation making you not want to embarrass yourself.
I know how you feel, and let me tell you it is partly we are shy, but it go's deeper then that. It is partly our society, it is considered odd or uncomfortable to look people in the eye. It is a tad to personal, it's like you feel as though they are looking into your brain. I know how you feel, when i look at a beautiful girl or she looks at me, it is so hard to look them in the eye, because we are not confident, we get so nervous and we don't want to get that personal, because really that is what looking at someone in the eye is doing, its making you more personal and invested in the conversation.
I think you are just shy around certain people. I am the same way. I believe we wonder how those people may percieve us maybe and you might think belittled and have a lower self confidence when those certain thoughts come into your mind. You may even be so used to feeling that way for so long, that its just a habit, and its hard to break..try and think higher of yourself that this girl is going to think im nice if i say hello to her and make the eye contact..
If someone didn't bring this up i would have.thank you. i have this same problem and it is very discouraging. i try my best to look people in the eye, but i just can't just bring myself to do it. sometimes i find(strangely enough) that people have a hard time looking me in the eye.


must be shyness on my part or theirs.
Maybe you have a hard time with attention in general, and afraid of what happens when people actually notice you the way that you notice them
I think u must be a shy a person and who have less confidence on him. Don't worry, I m like that too, but more i talk to people i try to have an eye contact. Just boost your self confidence and u will be alright.
you are self-conscious of yourself... and are quite shy. but if you learn to like yourself more[not that u don't] you will feel more comfortable with who you are and will feel more comfortable around people.
you may lack sincerity, real honest interest in the person you are with


Check out the different colors or same colors in your different friends.


Don't look at their boobs.
Just make yourself do it. Many people see this as rude and can become a problem later on.