Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Why do people get uncomfortable when you look them straight in the eyes for too long?

There is a line between confident eye contact %26amp; staring.

Staring is rude. It's unnatural and serves no purpose but to make someone else feel uncomfortable.

Regular eye contact is acceptable. If a person shies from all eye contact, they have self esteem issues and they don't like to be examined so carefully.

Also be aware in cities staring can be a threatening gesture. Big city folks seem to avoid making any eye contact with strangers on the street.Why do people get uncomfortable when you look them straight in the eyes for too long?
Because it shows that you're confident. It's a dominance thing also though. Like when you're training a dog, they tell you to look it in the eyes, and do not look away until the dog does...then you are the dominant one and the dog knows it. I think it could be the same type of thing with people. But either way, it shows that your confident, and people fear that in another.Why do people get uncomfortable when you look them straight in the eyes for too long?
I don't know but it is cool huh? I like doing that to people!

The russian culture believes that the eyes are the mirrors to the soul. Maybe people don't like having to see themselves through another persons eyes?
i don't get uncomfortable i love staring into peoples eyes.
It is a predator-prey response. Predators vs. Prey, Predators have forward positioned eyes so that we may calculate the distances between us and out prey (ie humans, birds of prey, dogs, etc). Prey tend to have eyes that are horizontally positioned, and have difficulty with distances, but are optimized for seeing movement from almost any angle except from the rear. This is how they can see the Predator and run when it attacks (cows are a great example).

When you stare at a feral cat, they will become scared of you, because when you lock eyes with another predator (or prey) and you do not avert your eyes, you are challenging for dominance (if you are the same species), or saying to them I'm going to eat you (if you are different species).

So when two humans lock eyes, and stare intently, it makes us uncomfortable because our instincts are telling our bodies to prepare for a fight, because this person staring at me is going to attack me for dominance rights (how often, before a fight starts, have you ever noticed the individuals ';Stare each other Down';, this is a prime example).

Eye contact on the other hand does not require staring, and is healthy for communication. It shows you are alert, listening, and are engaged in the conversation you are having. Eye contact does not involve looking another in the eyes until they become uncomfortable.
I don't I stare right back. I love it. But the eyes are the window to the soul and some people are comfortable with their soul so they try to hide it.
Some people are uncomfortable with eye contact because the eyes reveal the depths of their soul. They could also feel threatened by direct eye contact.
it seems force full, but if you don't look in their eyes for long you seem dishonest... and somepeople just think your rude because you look at them, let alone their eyes
I would like to think that if you don't know who you really are and love who you really are, you probably have deep trust issues with your Self and others. And as someone else mentioned, the eyes are the window that reveals the Soul and people fear connecting with others on the emotional level and any other level other than physical. And you will find that most people will have issues about something for whatever reasons. We're all dysfunctional in this World. I still think that psychology should be taught in school beginning for the elementary level, then perhaps we can recognize/cure some of these ills/esteems before they've really gotten out of hand.
because, they want to know what the hell is wrong with you,and why your looking at them like!!!

they could be uncomfortable or nervous.or just plain guilty about something,and they're afraid you know what they did.
Eye to eye contact is always appreciated, I believe; because both side parties are in the pretty good position to understand each other well. Plus; this is very effective tool to present your personality with confidence. if you get eye contact with some one, just say hello and start conversation, I guess its noting bad or rude to say hello and ask how’s other doing 

I think only people who can’t make eye to eye contacts are some kind of looser or trying to hide something or may be with week personality.

Well, there could be one point, which is; by staring into other eyes might consider as violation of their privacy ;) and we should let them do what they are doing. But I will say: still I guess when you are on the road of life, get ready to meet people and face the reality.

1 comment:

  1. Min you bring up good points. I really don't like others making too much eye contact because it's like I get this feeling where they see everything and your exposed. I try to usually avoid it. I wouldn't say I have self-esteem issues but despise but feel it's like they see your soul. And well sometimes not everyone you want seeing through you when you hardly know them. Great post.